aesculapian | assorted non-canon and AU threads

[ what color is he wearing, anyway

there's a pause -- he's up and studying the pictures, curiously and distantly -- too distantly. odd. he turns to the source of sound -- to lilith, and

smiles, a little sheepish on the bond and on his face ]

Ah - yes . . . I'm sorry to have bothered you.

[ it's a pink yukata, because of course it's a pink yukata. (and of course they changed his clothes, he had blood and kudzu and corruption all over him. ...rather, Samael changed his clothes, because Lilith was way too upset and would have been too embarrassed even if she weren't.)

noting both that distance, as well as the complete lack of anything resembling what she would consider an appropriate response, and— there's a feeling of something off-balance, the blank anticipatory space before horror that comes with realizing something is very wrong... but it stays blank, as Samael gently puts a lid on Lilith and takes complete control. she'll be glad for it later. ]

...It isn't a bother, Kuuha. We're friends, after all.

[ internal sweating ]

. . . Ahh . . .

[ . . . ]

Uhm . . .

[ . . .

it would be

really mean and insulting to this really kind lady with a spooky skull if he didn't say it! he really should say it! ]

I think I've, ah . . .

[ . . . ]

Is this person myself?

[ gesturing to a photo that has kuuha in it, which he can reasonably deduce because long hair and dark skin ]

[ kuuha you are a soft boy ]

Yes...

...you don't remember.

[ it isn't a question. ]

[ aww . . . kward . . . he feels so guilty. knitting his fingers together, taking a moment before he speaks ]

. . . I'm sorry.

[ she shakes her head, then ducks it— because she's dropping to the ground to bow to him in the most formal way possible, face pressed to the ground as best as she can manage with the muzzle of her skull in the way ]

Please don't apologize. If that's the case, it's my fault.

[ our fault, their fault. the lines are well at truly blurred, at the moment. ]

[ this is more awkward

startled, taking a step back, and then he sits on the ground, right there. on his knees ]

I don't -- understand. What do you mean by that?

The context is a little...

[ mumbled, but she pushes herself up after a moment, gaze still downcast.

(there's still nothing but his own emotions, but he wouldn't know that that's strange yet. ]

...to put it simply... you were very ill, to the point of having mentioned that you were tired of waiting for the end. I... chose to treat you, without consulting you, and knowing that the consequences could be... bad. Because I wanted you to have a choice in continuing to exist, but I didn't think you would accept being given one.

[ ...maybe she shouldn't have worded that exactly how Lilith alone would have. it isn't as though they aren't both guilty, but there's guilt and then there's deliberately framing themselves as worse than they necessarily are. ]

. . . I see . . .

[ takes a moment or two, simply staring at her. he doesn't really question it. he accepts it, honestly. there's no reason for her to lie to him - he has nothing.

he looks down, finally. down to his own hands, placed on his lap in two fists on his knees. the fists relax, shoulders sagging, as he thinks.

it's only that he takes so long from his first words to his last words that one could deduce he isn't being flippant about it -- otherwise, it sounds ridiculous ]

Thank you.

[ it sounds ridiculous, and most of all it sounds like him. it's awful and perfect and they both want to cry for two completely separate reasons— which means she doesn't cry at all, only pressing one hand over her eyes under her skull. ]

I don't... feel as though it's something worth thanking me for. But if you want to give that to me, I'll accept it.

[ closing his eyes, and he's reflexively smiling, gently. his words are quiet, slowly spoken. internally, he's a little sad . . . rueful, but nonetheless, certainly not angry or upset. there isn't an ounce of blame on her, or anyone, or anything. ]

. . . I'm sure you didn't make such a decision lightly -- and you believed the risks were outweighed with the benefit. Moreover . . . it seems as though we were friends, before I woke up today. There is no reason for you to lie to me, nor is there any reason for me to doubt you.

It sounds to me that, in my cowardice and inaction, I truly troubled you. I'm sorry that you had to endure those circumstances.

This is a decision you thought would be the best. Though I stubbornly refused you before . . . I'm grateful to you now.

[ there's a lull, as he takes another moment ]

May I please, know your name once more . . . ?

[ biting her lip. her face is hard to see, between the hair and the skull, but there's still a distinct wobble there; the edges of an unhappy frown ]

...my name...

...is Samael.

Though... rather, one of us is "Samael." I'm... sorry, to add more strangeness when you don't need it, but... there are two people in this body. We're both speaking to you now, though, because we both take responsibility for this.

[ and otherwise Lilith would scream forever into the bond, which you do not need yet. or ever. but it's going to happen. ]

...you weren't a coward, though. If you were trouble, is was trouble that I still gladly accepted. If it was a choice between that and not having been there for you... I would choose the same every time. So... please don't apologize for that, either.

. . . I see.

[ ok yep two people in a body sure sounds normal ]

. . . Then . . . I'll retract that apology. Thank you, Samael-san. And . . .

Thank you, to the other person. You two are truly good friends -- I'm glad to have you.

[ ah, pauses ]

-- that is to say, if you will still have me . . .

What did I just say...

[ more relieved than sarcastic, though, and she bows her head again ]

...I was going to ask you roughly the same thing, to be honest.

There's little reason to ask. I'm happy to be your friend, Samael-san.

[ save them ]

...then...

It's nice to meet you again.

[ smiles -- genuine, and he's relaxed. happy, in this moment -- it's pretty confusing, but he trusts the person in front of him, completely. there isn't a single bit of doubt, even in the uncertainty of his lost memories. ]

It's nice to meet you again, you two.

[ just— smiles, helplessly. what else can she do? ]

...ah. You can stay here while you're getting to your feet again, or longer; your old place is sort of... not that habitable, to be honest. There's other housing, but it's... ah. It's mostly for people in a different situation than the one we're in.

[ translation: "it's a rock shrine thing, and who even knows if it's still there without your memories anchoring it... if you stay with the shades you ate some of that one time that'd also probably be bad." ]

Edited 2016-11-27 05:05 (UTC)

[ obviously, doesn't speak samael ]

Ah -- thank you. It sounds as if I really wasn't taking care of myself . . . thinking about it now, I'm a little embarrassed. But -- I'm happy to stay here, since you offered. Is there anything I should keep in mind?

[ the inability to say anything directly is all Lilith, actually. not that he's any more well-versed in that at the moment ]

Well, you were sick... mm. Not for staying here; you've always been a polite house guest, and I really doubt that's changed. Outside of that, though...

...there's a lot, to be honest. But... truthfully, we also need a moment, first. ...I think the most important thing for the moment is not to wander outside until I've let you know what to expect from the other people here, and... um. Also... part of what I did to make sure you could recover was bind you to what's basically my own life-force, which... also has some side-effects...?

[ said with this incredibly sheepish air, one part "yes I know the list of things I did without consulting you is getting longer and more damning" and one part "yes I know this all sounds RIDICULOUS I'm sorry I keep dumping more on you" ]

...the main one is that you'll be able to feel what I'm feeling. I've got that blocked for the moment, but doing it for too long is difficult.

[ yeah he's also, not good at that

takes a moment to

kind of, just stare. blankly, mostly because he's trying to make sure he heard it right. that sounds, extremely unusual? even bizarre? ]

Ah . . .

[ i mean all things considered he doesn't like, take it badly. in fact he does straight up believe her, but it's still like, confusing. even though she said it's blocked, he does seek it out for a moment. curious.

. . .

wait ]

Is it the same vice versa --?

[ ...covering her face and shifting her grip on Lilith a little— just enough that he can catch what she's feeling at the moment. she's good at setting aside everything but the immediate, so it's mostly an echo of the sheepish embarrassment on her face, with a side of fussy concern and guilt... still, there's something very odd about the shapes of them. not that they're shallow, exactly, but they're very clear-cut and pure— like a child's, perhaps. ]

...I'm sorry for the intrusion.

Edited 2016-11-27 09:27 (UTC)

[ oh

his own side is pretty clear cut, too. given, he as a person has existed again for about fifteen minutes or so. he turns a little pink from the secondhand embarrassment. ]

Ah -- no, it's alright. This is . . . one of those side effects you were speaking of. Well, but it's because of this that I was able to survive, right . . . ? So -- ah, thank you.

[ the emotional equivalent of a deflating balloon... though there's something underneath. a soft fondness.

bowing her head again ]

Just let me know if you'd like privacy. Blocking you off from my side entirely defeats the purpose, but for shorter periods of time it should be all right.

I'm not sure I have anything to hide -- ah, but . . . I naturally don't mind if you'd like to have your own space.

[ he's soft ]

assorted non-canon and AU threads

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