assorted non-canon and AU threads

[aesculapian]

who wants delicious post-forest terribleness

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[aesculapian]

[ tilting her head to one side ]

I can speak to you now.

[miraculost]

[fidgets with his coat]

... That game, it... Well, it reminded me a great deal of my son. A very great deal. And I... I am realizing that normally, the way I'd cope with this, is I'd go and spend time with him? But he's not here. And I don't want him to be. But I think - I need someone who understands. Just... just to talk to. About him.

[aesculapian]

[ she doesn't immediately reply, expression still mostly blank and eyes dark under the skull. eventually, though, she says quietly: ]

That game was based off of things that happened to my original host.

If you would like to talk, I will listen. But ... in that case, I would like to see to the other shades first. Will you wait at our house ... ?

[miraculost]

[there is visible sympathy in his face, and he nods]

Of course. And thank you. ... And I would be happy to listen to you, as well, if you wanted.

[aesculapian]

[ bowing to him ]

Thank you, as well. However ... more than I have shared is not my story to tell. I only wanted to remember.

[miraculost]

I understand.

Well then, I'll be going...

[aesculapian]

[ nodding to him again, and then swanning off.

when he gets to her porch there's somehow already tea set out, at just the right temperature. the pot has a knitted tea cozy on it because of course it does. she comes back something like twenty minutes later to join him, smoothing her skirt out as she sits. ]

Thank you for waiting.

[miraculost]

[Arbiters.

he's nursing the last of a cup of tea when she returns, and he nods to her, raising his cup slightly with a smile]

Of course! The tea is lovely, thank you.

[aesculapian]

[ look, if you can manipulate the fabric of your reality however you'd like, why not do it to be a good host? ...so to speak.

lacing her hands together ]

You are welcome ...

[miraculost]

[the pleasantries thus concluded, his smile fades slowly. not meeting their eyes, he takes another sip of his tea.]

... I didn't have the chance to know my son, for much of his life. But since our reunion, and our reconciliation, we were seldom far apart.

I miss him terribly.

[aesculapian]

What is he like ... ?

[miraculost]

[a warm smile returns to his face, almost despite himself]

He's rather reserved... and very dignified. In much the same way a cat is dignified after it's done something silly, granted. He adores wordplay, and his kitten, and he craves physical contact and affection... not that he'd been lacking for those, after we mended our relationship.

There is much bitterness and sorrow in him still, I know... things he carries with him that he may never be free of. But he's moving forward. He works on the police force in the town where we met again, out of a desire to protect the people who live there. I am so, so proud of him...

[aesculapian]

[ smiles faintly herself. parents are cute

... yes, Lilith, good parents are cute. you are right. ]

And our story reminded you of him?

[miraculost]

It did.

... more specifically, it reminded me of of how I first came to lose him.

[aesculapian]

[ she just tilts her head. go on... ]

[miraculost]

[it takes him a moment, sorting through and discarding sentences until he settles on how he wants to explain.]

... He wasn't born into this world in the usual way. He was built, and brought to life. When he awoke, he - well, his awareness was rather like that of an ordinary human toddler. He was not yet mature or experienced, but he had a basic understanding of the world around him, and he - knew who I was. He knew I was someone who was meant to protect him.

But... due to circumstances that I had inadvertently created, and which escalated much more quickly than anyone was prepared for... at that time, the laboratory was in a state of emergency. The alarms were blaring. I ran out, in a panic, to attend to the emergency.

He opened his eyes, and saw me running away.

[miraculess]

[ ... they'd suspected, of course.

resemblances that strong tended to be for some sort of reason— but a few of those had just been for things like similar temperament, or history, and because Samael was an optimist she'd argued that that was likely the case in this situation. Lilith, however, has always been a pessimist. she'd brushed Samael off repeatedly, agreed not to talk because she'd known she was right, and— here it was, confirmation.

of a sort.

because this man had always talked about his son like something valued, someone desperately loved— and if she took that, and this, then...?

it's not an answer she can even begin to bear to contemplate, not without the outlet of her own tears and rage or even her partner's undivided attention— so she shoves control over her entire self into Samael's metaphorical arms in a way that she hasn't felt the need to since shortly after deciding to stay... and mercifully, Samael respects her inarticulate, desperate wish and shuts her down. ]

...I see.

I'm sorry, but there's something you should know.

[ ...of course, without Lilith actively there to keep her own memories and feelings somewhat more separate, things tend to get... muddled. ]

[miraculost]

[blinks, as if shaken out of a daydream, and focuses on their face]

--ah, what's that?

[miraculess]

[ frowns— and it visibly has more emotion to it than the snake skull has previously shown. even if the soft intensity of her gaze is nothing like the glimpses he's seen of her host, something has shifted.

after a moment of hesitation she lifts her skull up and back, and then combs the hair out of her face as well. it leaves her face almost entirely unobscured— leaving the light to pick out the faint scarring over one cheek, the very faint mismatch in skintone on either side. things that might go unnoticed except by someone looking very hard— or by someone familiar with them. ]

Lilith recognized you because you resemble her mother.

[miraculost]

[he sucks in a sharp breath and then looks away, dragging one hand over his mouth]

Ah...

[so there was a reason, then, for that niggling familiarity. he should have known. hadn't he just come from a place where that sort of thing, alternate lives, was the norm? he hadn't been able to see the scars before, but her height, the hair color... of course there was a reason she had reminded him so much of his son. of course there was.]

... I've just done something awful to her, haven't I?

[miraculess]

...Yes.

[ blunt and unflinching. she might have tried to sugarcoat it more if it was just "herself," or if he hadn't had the awareness of what he'd just done... but either way, there's no point in pretending that Lilith wasn't just completely wrecked. ]

It might not... stay an awful thing, though. Closure is important; sometimes things need to be torn down to be properly rebuilt. We'll have to see.

[miraculost]

[both hands over his face, rubbing his forehead

and yet, somehow, isn't this familiar too? that familiarity is, perversely, almost comforting.]

... He'd wanted revenge on me. It was awful for him too, hearing this.

He and I did rebuild. I'll hope for the best for her.

[miraculess]

[ ...torn between wanting to comfort him, and wanting to tell him exactly why it isn't and can't be the same. Lilith won't have the chance to meet her mother, unless that woman dies in a way she shouldn't have— and even if that happens, the only home she can ever have now is the forest.

Lilith probably wouldn't want to change that, but now there will still always be a "what if?" hanging over her head. ]

She's been happy here. Happy enough that she chose to stay when she could have left, even though at that time things were much more difficult. Even if this shakes her... mm. I doubt she'd overly regret that decision.

[miraculost]

[he knows. he knows, he knows, he can't get the thought out of his head. that Lilith can never leave here, that she will almost certainly never get to have what he and Kaito had so painstakingly built between them. that his mirror, in Lilith's old life, will never get to tell her daughter how much she had always loved her.

but he cannot, cannot let himself drown in that despair. all he can do is listen to the Arbiter's words, and let them give him strength.]

I'm glad. I'm glad, she's found and chosen happiness here. If she's at all like my son, then she is strong. I don't doubt that at all.

[miraculess]

[


yes, all right. lifting one hand and putting it on his head. ]

...I should warn you.

Games are not always chosen and run by arbiters. Shades have some subconscious influence over the forest, and that extends to games as well. However... since it's subconscious, they have no control over the form it takes.

Lilith has run a game before. I think, considering the circumstances... she'll likely run it again. I can't tell you more than that—I can't give you that advantage over the others—but I want you to know that it is not deliberate, and to try not to blame yourself for it.